Seeking Support: The Role of Relationships in Healing

Disclaimer: The neuroscience articles on this website were written by students studying psychology and neuroscience. They are intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice from a licensed psychologist or neuroscientist. For personalized advice and treatment, please consult with a qualified healthcare professional.

Going through any kind of traumatic experience is awful, but it can be made even worse if you have to go through it completely alone. You don’t deserve that. Keep reading to find out how to build a support network.

(If you are in crisis and need immediate help, call 988 or text REASON to 741741 to be connected to a mental health hotline.)

Why is it important for me to have a support network?

When you have trustworthy people to talk to, you can share your experiences with another person, which may help you process what you have been through. This keeps you from bottling up all your emotions inside. If you keep all of your emotions inside and have no outlet for them, you will increase your stress levels, which may lead to chronic stress and other health issues. Your emotions might fill you up so much that you might feel like a full cup of water, and any little thing could happen that could cause you to overflow. This “overflow” could be expressed by a sudden outburst of anger, a sudden bout of uncontrollable crying, or even an overwhelming episode of nervous laughter. Think about your life. Have you ever experienced uncontrollable emotions as a reaction to something seemingly small? Or, can you remember a time that you felt very overwhelmed, but felt better after talking about it with someone you trust? You don’t have to go through this alone. There are people who can help.

Where should I look for support?

There are lots of places you can look to for support! You might seek support by talking to a teacher, a school guidance counselor, a priest or pastor, or a medical doctor. These people are trusted individuals who can help support you or help you find the support you need. You could talk to your closest friends, or a family member that you trust.

Check your local area and online for trauma-specific support groups, such as a group for survivors of domestic violence, a grief support group, or a group for former foster youth. Foster Care Alumni of America (FCAA) is a wide-reaching network of former foster youth that hosts get-togethers with the purpose of connecting people who all have the similar background of being in foster care. This type of sharing will help you see that you are not alone, there are other people who have had similar experiences to yours and you can share with and learn from one another. FCAA offers two kinds of membership; a paid membership to help fund some of their outreach programs, or a free membership through a waiver program to make sure anyone can join, regardless of finances. You can check their website here to see if there is a chapter in your state. If FCAA is not yet in your state, you can check Google for other organizations that bring former foster youth together.

What if I need more support than friends or trusted adults can offer?

Sometimes, you may need professional help and guidance in addition to a support network of trusted friends. There is absolutely no shame in that, going to a mental health support professional to heal from your trauma is just like seeking medical care for a broken bone. You can ask your general doctor about mental health resources they might know of, or you can find them yourself by looking online. A counselor or therapist can help you talk through the trauma you have experienced and process it, so that it will have less of an impact on your daily life. Some states have resources for former foster youth to receive counseling at low-to-no cost, so be sure to check your area for programs you might be eligible for. A Home Within is a program that offers free weekly sessions to current or former foster youth and adults in ten states. Find their home page here.

That’s a lot of information and I’m kind of overwhelmed. I’m looking for more support. What should be my first step?

Your first step should be to check your area for local help. If you’re looking for professional counseling or therapy, start by searching on Google for free counseling for former foster youth. This will help you find out if there are any programs in your state that can provide you with low or no-cost therapy. It should also bring up places in your area that can connect you with licensed professionals. The important thing is to remember is that you do not have to go through this alone. There are others who have been through the same types of experiences you have been through and there are also professionals and organizations who are there to help you. You just have to make the decision to reach out for help and take the next step.

(If you are in a crisis situation and need immediate help, you can reach a mental health hotline by calling 988 or texting REASON to 741741.)